Sunday, 22 April 2012

As We Head Towards Dusk

I could have a glass of champagne
But the bubbles would go to my head
I’d be squiffy, confused
Somewhat easily bruised
Falling into your arms
Dancing into your bed
Tripping and
Tumbling
Temperance used.
I could have a glass of champagne
And the bubbles would go to my head
I should have a glass of champagne
But you offer me cocoa instead.
~ April 2012

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Books Worth Reading...


HonourHonour by Freddie Omm
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Honour is a brilliant read - and quietly clever too. The fast-moving plot will certainly appeal to thriller devotees - it's a page turner and I defy anyone to read the opening chapter and not want to read on - and yet it's unique in its treatment, with a storyline, characters and settings to appeal to a much wider audience than just thriller fans. The wonderful pace is aided by clean and spare prose, but with delicious playful touches to the language that lift it above and beyond other books in the genre. There is a lot of wit here and it is this, and the pace, which prevent the book's subject matter from bogging the reader down in *issues*.

Short punchy chapters, several intermingling story strands, and a fabulous cast of characters populate an involving story about an honour killing in a western consumerist setting - who is the oppressor? Who is the oppressed? What exactly is honour? The story moves briskly along with a supple use of language and glorious black humour, flitting between fundamentalists with murderous intent, advertising executives with one eye on the bottom line and one scouting for the next bandwagon, and bored aristocratic wives with a penchant for rolling in the hay...

You'll finish this book thinking you've read a great romping thriller. But then you'll realise you read something far more than that - you read an extremely clever subtle observation of the world in which we live, where norms are learned and the lines drawn constituting Right and Wrong are not static, nor absolute.

A cracking read & top marks from me.


The Beauregarde AffairThe Beauregarde Affair by Brian M. Talgo
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Beauregarde Affair is a tale told by a natural raconteur. I would love to hear this serialised on radio, or done as an audio book read by the author. Memoirs in themselves can often be self-indulgent and fall foul of the "oh well, you'd understand if you'd been there" realm, but what Talgo has done here is to fictionalise the memoir slightly - and to do so with such a strong and compelling Voice that it's surely impossible not to be drawn into this world of stoned misfits - and so, with the edges of Reality tinged with imagined romanticism and the tidying up of events, the whole thing comes together as the most wonderful story, polished and with witty afterthought and honed to perfection. What bits are true, what bits invented, who knows - but one thing for certain it's a moreish tale of witty hedonistic indulgence that will touch the very soul of anyone who lived through that era and, indeed, I reckon I'll be having flashbacks for years...


But it's also a tale of friendships and, no matter the decade, these early bonds - those people with whom we choose to spend our formative years - define and remain with us for life and are not confined to one particular decade in time. And so I don't think this is a story purely for the stone-heads of the seventies but is a story for anyone who's ever shared digs with others during their carefree, egotistical party years.


And the snake. Oh how I love the snake... he is almost figurative (though I'm sure he existed!) in that he holds together this story of loves, losses, drunken misdemeanours and innate will to avoid Growing Up for as long as is humanely possible... only to reach his literary peak towards the end. What happens to the snake? You'll have to read it to find out.


It's bliss. I cannot recommend it highly enough. But please, Brian Talgo... can we have an audio version??


View all my reviews

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Our Gal in Salop...

I was mildly chastised yesterday that my blog "gives scant indication" of what I'm currently doing.

I blog at whim - no fixed agenda or regularity - and had no idea anyone was remotely interested in what I am or am not doing. The internet is awash with the tedious detail of Ordinary People's Lives and whilst I am often tempted to add to this - and do!! - equally I'm as tempted, periodically, to desist. I have a very pronounced Love/Hate relationship with the Online World.

However... okay, here's an update for anyone with the slightest interest.

Am currently working on a dark comedic novel called The Town that Danced, about a run-down seaside town which goes mad. Now ripping the 36000 words written so far to pieces as the structure needs serious work before I continue. That said, I'm not sure I ever really want to be A Writer. I just write because I can... sort of... a bit.

I've spent less time online over the past few months. Way less. I'm not a mad collector of 'friends', nor am I remotely interested in the bowel movements of strangers, and I tired of it all. Harsh comment, perhaps, but I became seriously disturbed by the content of newsfeeds on the various social networking sites and decided to step back from it. Others gain a lot from their online activities, I know, so this is only my opinion, but life has been improved for that stepping back. I've spent time engaging with friends, and strangers, in the offline world - as well as re-learning how to enjoy my own company.

Have been fiddling with some old film footage I recorded but never completed. I made SO many shed films over the past two years! I love it (think I'm a frustrated film director) but it's a horrible self-obsessed vanity, which is why so many fall at the cutting room floor and don't get up again. But I do toy with the idea of doing more... though it's a terrible time-suck.

Reading: just taken delivery of Graham Greene's Our Man in Havana (hence the blog post title).  Spent much of last summer reading masses of French medieval history... much more to read on that. Endless hours frittered away on ancient poetry - esp. researching the old troubadour songs... yeah, read a lot. It's good.

And on a personal level - though I do try, weakly, to keep the personal and writing separate... always some overlap, I guess - the past few months saw my eldest start high school and she's blossoming into a lovely young woman but needs SO much more of my time and attention. Which is good and has been great, but it does, of course, take me further away from writerly activity. Youngest... well... she is just too like me - before I learned how to be cynical, that is. And I feel an horrendous guilt for the genes I've inflicted upon her. She writes like a champion - she will achieve SO much more than I - but she loves with the same (oft misguided) intensity as I love and this, too, has demanded a lot of my time over the past few months as she battles the minefield of Friendships and Growing Up. Other children can be real twats.

So, yes, my writing comes second to my kids. My life, in fact, comes second to the kids'. And online participation certainly comes second to sanity. This past year has taught me what's important - who is important - and I am far more interested in Quality than Quantity. Those few people who truly matter know who they are by now. The rest is, as they say, merely Noise.

And now I leave you, again - over and out, from Your Gal in Salop...

Monday, 23 January 2012

Wine chilling, walking boots not required...


Last year I spent five days in remote bliss, staying with my dad in the Spanish mountains. He's lived in that country on and off for the past three decades or so - happiest in craggy sunshine, away from people, where he can walk and write in peace.

After a decade or so in Amsterdam, and a taste of true population density, he moved back to Spain last year to a tiny place called Sedella (described on the web as a town, but really... no!). Life is critically slow. Two small shops open at random moments, nobody locks doors, weathered village elders gather on worn wooden chairs in the narrow alleys to bitch loudly. There's an old church, its tower of Moorish origin, where a bell tolls when someone in the village dies. It rings a different note for each gender and tolled twice during the five days I was there. Reflective of the average age-range, I think.

Even this tiny place was too much for my dad. Since my visit he's moved into the mountains proper and is now isolated from all life bar that of dusk crickets in the dry shrubbery, the tinkling bells of goats passing on their way up/down the cattle paths, and the occasional human visitor breaking free from the Noise of life for a taste of sanity.

The photo above is a very rare shot of us together. He hates having his photo taken (hence the closed eyes) and I have hardly any shots of us together from my childhood (from which he was primarily absent).  Here's one taken in 1977 (check that collar!). Yeah, I was still quite sweet, my future undetermined - all the potential of Life ahead...

The title of this blog post is a line from an email he sent prior to my visit. I'd assumed we would be doing some serious walking but the temperature was rising to dangerous levels. And I think, too, he realised what I needed was the peace, not rabid exercise. Strangely enough, given his absence from my upbringing, he's perhaps the only person in existence who really understands me. Genetics, I guess, combined perhaps with that very absence - a lack of the sort of habitual negative judgement that lengthy close proximity can induce. It's interesting. We're alike in many ways... both positive and negative.


Whatever. We did walk. Easy routes. Two hours each day, in blistering heat. It was enough. The rest of the time we read, dozed, stared at the mountains. Later we'd eat; drink appalling amounts of beer and wine; talk and argue crap until dawn. It was Just The Thing.

And if I could be anywhere right now, I'd be there.

Snug in quiet mountains where the internet struggles to reach. Where a person can detach from all that shit to talk at length about ancient religious buildings, Crusades fought centuries ago, God, man, space, time... the very smallness of life... about books, theories, poetry, and all things solid. Until too tired or drunk to be coherent. Until too tied up in belligerence to ever reach agreement. And then, as the sky slowly lightens, talk some more regardless...


Sunday, 22 January 2012

What's the story..?


I took these photos in Paris last summer.

Political and social considerations aside - not to mention the rudeness of photographing someone's home without their permission - for me, the fascination here is in the detail. As is the poignancy.

I came across them again this evening and thought it'd make a good writers' exercise if anyone wants to play.

What's the story? Who lives here?


(if you click on the photos, you'll get a bigger version and can better see the subtleties)





Saturday, 26 November 2011

Life in a Day


This is an amazing piece of film.

The film-maker's blurb is here: http://www.youtube.com/lifeinaday.

Much of human life is shown in these clips. The bad, the good and the downright barking. Totally absorbing... mesmerising... thought-provoking. It's one of the finest things I've watched all year.

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Fresh showers for the thirsting flowers



Word clouds - such pretty things. This one was made from inputting the poems from this blog.

Word cloud generator: Wordle


Monday, 17 October 2011

A virile self pity...

I never complained that my birthday was overlooked; people were even surprised, with a touch of admiration, by my discretion on this subject. But the reason for my disinterestedness was even more discreet: I longed to be forgotten in order to be able to complain to myself. Several days before the famous date (which I knew very well) I was on the alert, eager to let nothing slip that might arouse the attention and memory of those on whose lapse I was counting (didn't I once go so far as to consider falsifying a friend's calendar?). Once my solicitude was thoroughly proved, I could surrender to the charms of a virile self pity.


                                   ~ Albert Camus, "La Shute"


Like Jean-Baptiste Clamence, I used this as a tool to affirm my possibly unreasonable but quite strong views on the online world. With no Social Networking Bot to remind them, I imagined my online friends would remain oblivious to my birthday yesterday. I figured we've all become a bit pathetic - we click things without thinking about them, we respond to Bot-suggested niceties... "say hello" to this person, "wish happy birthday" to that. We do these things on auto-pilot but, without the prompt, probably wouldn't do them at all - and this, to my mind, renders them pretty worthless gestures.

I'd become quite cynical about it all.

I didn't particularly like feeling so negative. It's all in that last line - surrender to the charms of a virile self pity - so I rose early on my birthday morning to seek this book, this particular snippet, to remind myself of Camus' observation... how this kind of self-satisfaction is not a pretty trait.

Jean-Baptiste is a particularly unpleasant character because he represents the darker side to us all. Nothing else I've read quite sums up the human beast as much as this monologue. He is Everyman on truth serum. It makes for uncomfortable reading (though I'd recommend the book to anyone... it's sublime).

In conversation with the lovely Jane Alexander, I mentioned my cynicism - how it was my birthday, how I hadn't displayed this date publicly because I'd rather have no birthday wishes than a host of Bot-induced ones from people who ordinarily have nothing to say to me. I admitted I was probably being grumpy and over-cynical but, hey-ho, doesn't the online world make you feel like that sometimes? I said.

So the mischievous Jane wished me a happy birthday publicly and over the next few hours I was amazed how many more birthday messages appeared - on both Facebook profiles, by email and on the Authomony forum thread she also started in my honour. It made me feel SO ashamed for all the negative thoughts I'd had! Here were people not merely clicking into a convenient little box proffered by the Bots, but taking time to visit my pages and write a personal message.

Thanks, Jane, and thanks everyone else for quashing my cynicism and adding an extra layer of cheer to my birthday in the process!

(I reckon Jean-Baptiste Clamence wouldn't have stood a chance against the might that is Jane Alexander...)

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

We do not remember days, we remember moments

Sipping grappa is nice, but there's also a pleasure
In listening to the venting of an impotent old man
Who's back from the front and asks your forgiveness.


~ Cesare Pavese, "Sad Wine"


I met a lovely old man today in town. The sort I'm drawn to - glimmer in the eye, chirpy nature...  signs of a remaining spark inside a body which is failing. 

When you see that glimmer, it means stories

We're in a lift and it's stopped inexplicably. He's leaning on a stick, his other hand clutching his wife's arm. He must be late eighties - possibly even early nineties - and his back is so stooped he's permanently looking at the floor. They're an intriguing couple. The minute I see them I'm curious. He, with his cheerful face, healthy, scrubbed complexion, bowed back, tweed jacket, flat cap, almost unnaturally large hands - retired farmer, think I, he has that look.  

She, on the other hand, is exotic. Younger than him - probably in her late seventies - and dressed like a Romany fortune teller. Very bright clothes swathed and floor-length, a turban-style hat, huge ornate earrings, eyebrows non-existent but painted on with a thick, wobbly black line - way, way, way too much make-up all round. And yet a lady. Perfectly polite and well spoken. Just barking - totally eccentric. 

They make an extremely Odd Couple. I love people like this.

So, we're in the lift. It's not moving - or, at least, is taking a time. The old guy lifts his head, his back twisting with the effort, and says you ever been stuck in one of these things?

No, I say. This is an accidental lie, I realise later. I was stuck in a lift once, many years ago - it lasted twenty minutes or so and, apart from one girl who became a tad claustrophobic, wasn't scary and excused us twenty minutes of a dull psychology lecture. 

But, I tell him, I did write a short story about a couple stuck in a lift and used my imagination to work out what it would be like. Was it awful for them? he said. I hope you made it awful

Well, yes, I said. They die in the end. 

Oh, he says. That's pretty awful then. It is like that though. 

We exit the lift and he tells me they're like punishment cells. And I've been in one of those too, he says. So many potential stories here, I think - wonder where he was in the war. I ask him which was worst then, the lift or the punishment cell? His eyes sparkle again and he chuckles - the lift, he says definitely the lift. Thought I'd never get out

We chat a bit longer. He asks what I write but I don't say, there's no point. I tell him I have an over-active imagination and will write anything.  He says he has one too. And I just know this man has a zillion stories to tell, and he's itching to tell them, but there's no opportunity to listen. It's a shopping centre. I contemplate asking whether they'd like to go for a cup of tea, but that seems creepy and odd. Yet there's a part of me that reckons he'd love to - he's certainly not going to walk far in town with those legs, the stick, the need to lean onto his wife's arm every step. 

But I don't ask. 

We say cheerio, how nice it was to chat, and go our separate ways. 

These are the moments, I think, which add richness to lives watered down by banality. All too few of them, though, and often short lived. 

The photo, incidentally, was taken in a restaurant which used to be a chapel. They've kept the confessionals... well, the doors at least. The walls are gone and, as such, the image is not quite trapped in a lift, nor confined in a punishment cell, but more symbolic of the prisons in which we place ourselves - when, caught in the noise of our lives, we fail to see those interesting people shuffling by; and when we let banality win out by thinking there "isn't time" to carry on a conversation or that it'd be "wrong" to pursue a potential one. 

Shame. I do hope I bump into them again.